This is rape.

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Today, I will talk about…

RAPE

 

I wish I could give it more spaces.

I am a coward. I am unworthy.  It has been 14 years and I haven’t spoken publicly about my truth. I am terrified right now. My fingers can’t even reach the keyboard.  

Welcome to my life. My beautiful life on Instagram, but my pain within.

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I wake up with the struggle to open my eyes and lose myself. It wasn’t a nightmare; I’m not okay.  I long to be the woman I was at 21. I was beautiful, smart, hopeful; one man took that away from me. And he never paid.

I do with a life sentence: with judgment, secrets, and shame.

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I woke up in a University of Michigan hotel room after a night out during my senior year of college. I had a few drinks; but I was by no means drunk.  I was dressed in a short skirt and tank top; (what men like to categorize as “slutty” to affirm their behavior).

I was dressing for myself.

I was drugged. I remember having my Cardinals hat because it was October during playoffs. My body was stiff as I woke...