I Just Traveled Around the World for a Year and Don’t You Dare Ask Me What My Favorite Country Was

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Future Ryan is kind of a dick. He’s constantly complaining to me, Present-Day Ryan, that I never think about him. Constantly whining and complaining that I need to think about him; that I need to think about the future. Future Ryan thinks he’s holier than thou. He’ll tell Present-Day Ryan things like “You really shouldn’t eat week-old Chinese food for breakfast again” or “Maybe you should invest your money instead of feeding your body liquid poison” or “You need to stop having sex without… socks on.”

Future Ryan

The guy is a real pain in my ass.

No matter what I do, it seems like he’s never satisfied.

Well, buddy boy, I’m writing this post for you. Whether it’s 3 months or 3 years from now you can whip out your iPhone 17 and show off this blog to save yourself from having the same conversation for the 100th time.

Let the painful small talk commence

It has recently been brought to my attention that I have to go home soon. Like, a-month-from-today-soon. A realization that is not...